Sometimes, we have to learn to let go. As much as I like being in control of everything, there are things that are out of my control. Things like, Aaron moving to Australia. It's a long and emotionally exasperating story and it just amounts to putting words into action. Of which, I have waited 7 months for but have not seen.
So, I do have to learn to let go, like my mum told me this morning. I have to learn that I can't worry for him and that he knows his deadline with me. The thing is, I'm such a control freak, especially when it comes to this, that I feel like my future is in my own hands and that if I could, I should worry/do something about it. Mum's right though, I can't let my actions speak for us, I have to let his action speak for his desire to be here with me.
And that's what hurts the most, he's not here. He has no desire in my eyes. No matter what words he sends my way, he's not here.
So, I'll be taking a few days off from blogging to concentrate on what is important right now, and that is Muntedkowhai and a few social events I have been invited to this weekend.
3 comments:
aaah Tiff. Sorry times are tough right now. I know the feeling though. I am a control freak too. I need to know WHATS going to happen, WHEN its going to happen, and HOW its going happen.
I've been trying lately to get better at this. To just breath and take it easy. Let nature take its course and when things dont turn out my way I tell myself its making me a stronger person and giving me a life lesson of sorts.
You can do it,Tiff!
I got all teary eyed reading this.
I am a control freak too---its just the type of personality I have.
I think it comes with wanting everything to be perfect and everyone to be happy....
I am so sorry you are feeling sad and alone. So sorry it isn't the way you thought it would be. It majorly sucks when others won't put out the love you KNOW you are.
But I love you...
and I'm telling you,
It.Will.Turn.Out.
All.Right.In.The.End.
Chin up T---
this isn't the end to your story<3
--S
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